


Everybody Leaves

by felicityollies



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, F/M, Fear, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:31:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>post s3 - Felicity deals with the effects of her recent trauma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Leaves

Hours ago Oliver and Felicity had packed their bags and left their home. Where they were going neither of them knew, but they both seemed determined to get away from the city and spend time with each other. Their first stop was a crappy motel in the next state over. Night had fallen and both of them were fast asleep. Felicity not as peacefully as Oliver. Normally he would have struggled to fall asleep and stay asleep, but being with Felicity calmed him. It was the first real sleep he had had in ages. The same could not be said for his girlfriend.

Felicity’s body was covered in sweat. She squirmed in her sleep and kicked away her blanket. Her stomach twisted in knots. The thoughts inside her head had been the same since she closed her eyes that night. She had forgiven Oliver so easily. She had let him back in, but why? She feared being alone for one, but secondly she really did love him. She loved Oliver more than she thought she could ever love another human being, but was it enough? 

Oliver left her. He left her not once, not twice, but three times. He left her to fight Ra’s the first time and died. He could have left her forever. The second time she was forced to leave him on Nanda Parbat. She was forced to say goodbye to the man she loved. The third when she tried to save him. She did what she thought he would want, but instead she found herself, and her friends, chained in a dungeon. He left her to die. She put all her faith and trust into him and he left them to die. 

_He left me to die. He left me to die while he married another woman._

The thoughts nagged and pulled at her insides. They hadn’t died. He hadn’t meant for them to actually be harmed, but in the moment when she truly thought he had abandoned them the fear was overwhelming. She really thought that she was going to die that day. Felicity didn’t know how to handle it. She didn’t know if she even could. She was so terrified of being alone. Her father left her when she was young. Her mother was hardly there; to her credit she was working endless hours to raise Felicity, but she still craved the attention and company she didn’t receive. She let herself close to a boy in college and he went to jail; ended his life. It didn’t matter that she discovered that year that he was alive he had still left her. 

She and Oliver both struggled to let people in, but somehow they managed to let each other in. Felicity wanted desperately to let him go when he chose being a vigilante over being Oliver Queen and having a relationship with her. She wanted that to be it. She tried to get over him. She tried to be with someone else, but it didn’t work. She loved that man with all her heart and he loved her, yet she still feared that he would vanish from her life. 

_Everyone leaves eventually. He’s going to leave. He’s going to leave me again._

Felicity tossed and turned. Her chest moved up and down with her heavy breathing. “Don’t leave.” She whimpered quietly. 

_He lied to me. Again and again he lied. He lied and left me._

_He left me._

_He left me. He was going to let me die. The look in his eyes. I trusted him. I trust him more than anyone, but the emptiness in his eyes. Oh god._

_**You asked us to trust you and we trusted you!**_

Felicity jolted awake this time her own scream echoed through her mind. She panted and reached up to wipe her face; a mixture of sweat and tears on her skin. She didn’t know when she started crying, but it didn’t even matter. 

“You okay?” Oliver touched her arm and she recoiled; startled by the sudden contact and sound of his voice. He sat up and gave her a worried expression. “Felicity….” 

“I need a minute.” She pushed herself away from him and got out of bed. She moved faster than she meant to, but she couldn’t look at him right now. She didn’t want to be in the same room and that only left one place for her to go. She disappeared into the cramped bathroom and shut the door with a slam. She locked it before she turned and pressed her back to it. Slowly she slid down the door and sat onto the cold tile floor. 

Felicity didn’t know what to do. She needed her friends. She needed Oliver and she was so scared of losing them all. The past few months had been so hard on her, yet she continued to show everyone compassion. She didn’t understand the things that Oliver had done. How could he think that it would be okay? She was safe now, no one was severely injured, but she couldn’t shake these thoughts. What if her subconscious was right? What if it was only a matter of time before he was gone again?

There was a knock at the door that caused her to yelp. “Felicity.” Oliver called. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He leaned against the door. “Talk to me please.” 

Felicity took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks again, but said nothing. She didn’t know what to say to him. She almost felt stupid at this point. She was a twenty-five year old woman, on the floor of a crappy motel bathroom, hiding from her boyfriend, and fearing the worst. Felicity was stronger than this and she knew it; but fear was so debilitating. 

“You’re starting to freak me out.” Oliver spoke again. 

“I’m scared.” She finally choked out. 

“Of what?” 

“You.” She sighed as the word left her lips. 

“Oh.” 

“I don’t mean… you… you. I’m scared of what you did. Of what you’re capable of.” She struggled to find the right words. “What you did to me… to our friends. You lied to us. You made us think we were going to die. You left us there. You left me Oliver.” She started to cry a little harder than before. 

“Felicity let me in,” He sighed. “Please. I never meant for you or anyone to get hurt. I just… I thought I was doing the right thing.”

She stayed where she was on the floor for several minutes. She could hear Oliver on the other side of the door breathing quietly. Felicity loved Oliver and she wanted to fully trust him again. She wanted to be in a good place with him because she couldn’t imagine him not being in her life. She couldn’t handle it. 

Finally, when she decided she could stomach seeing him again she moved to stand on shaky legs. She hesitantly reached for the door and unlocked it. She took a step back because as soon as the lock had clicked Oliver reached for the knob. He pushed the door open and quickly stepped towards her. 

“Oh god, Felicity.” He cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears. “I didn’t mean to do this to you.” He couldn’t begin to understand the depths of which her fears of being alone and being abandoned went. But in his eyes Felicity could see a want to understand. Oliver’s eyes told her so much. They always had except for when he was pretending to be Ra’s Al Ghul’s heir. She didn’t know how he managed to seem like such an empty soulless husk of a being, but he had. She sniffled and looked deep into those baby blues. 

“I love you so much and I’m not going to do that again. I’m not going to hurt you. You have to believe me that is the last thing I ever want to do to you.” He spoke with such sincerity, but Felicity’s tears continued to flow.

“Please, don’t leave me.” She whimpered. 

“I’m not going to. I promise.” He moved his hands away from her face and wrapped his arms around her. 

Felicity tensed for a moment, but after a couple of seconds she let his warmth envelop her. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. 

“I’m not going to leave you.” He whispered again as he ran a hand down her back.

She wanted desperately to believe him. Her heart ached for his words to be true. He promised he wouldn’t leave, but promises were so easily broken. Felicity took in a deep breath in the process taking in Oliver’s scent. The relaxed a little bit, just enough to quell her tears, but the fear of what could happen was hovering just beneath the surface. “I love you.” He mumbled again. His hands still moved down her back and through her hair. 

She nodded against him, but didn’t say it back. Felicity hoped, prayed, and begged that things would be okay. That they would be okay. She didn’t want to spend nights like this. She didn’t want to fear waking up and Oliver being gone. She didn’t want to worry about getting into a fight with him, like all couples do once in a while, and watching him leave. Felicity could only do her best to trust him and to try not to let the fear take over. It seemed like an easy concept, but to her it was like climbing a mountain.


End file.
